As a child I couldn't understand why our family Christmas tree couldn't look uniform like the Christmas tree in the lobby of the Bank of America building where my mom used to work. Why couldn't we have coordinating glittery glass ornaments, and white lights, and gold ribbon? Why did we have all these mix-matched ornaments, including the ceramic ornaments my mom had made, the ornament they got the first Christmas in the first home they ever bought when I was 13, or ornaments we made in preschool.
Last Christmas, my first Christmas married to Ben, and a season of mixed feelings as I was pregnant with Gabriel but missing Baby Cude, who was due to be born on December 19 of last year, Ben scored a big, beautiful Christmas tree which we had very few decorations for. We had a string of colored lights, and among our very few ornaments, an ornament indicating that Christmas 2010 was our first Christmas as a married couple. Three stockings hung on our TV stand, one for Ben, one for me, and one for Gideon. It was a bare bones Christmas, but it was romantic and full of hope and a feeling of family. For the first time I realized that a family Christmas tree tells a story, and our story was just beginning.
This Christmas I bought just a small tree to fit on an end table. Ben and I covered the base with some scrap material, a shimmery gold material that used to serve as a runner on my dresser top before we were married. We still have to get last year's ornments from our garage, but our tree already has on it the gold teddy bear ornament given to us by Greenlawn Cemetary last week, which reads "Gabriel Cude, June 10, 2011-June 20, 2011." There is also a small Grinch figurine, because Ben shared with me that the Grinch song reminds him of his dad singing the song to him as a child. I picked up a Baby's First Christmas ornament, an ornament I have dreamed of having for so long, which we will put Gabriel's picture in. I have plans to go back and find a special ornament for Baby Cude, which I should have found last year, as well as a 2009 Puppy's First Christmas ornament for Gideon - Gideon doesn't respond well to being left out.
We will add one more stocking this year, for Gabriel and Baby Cude to share. Their stocking will go up every year, no matter how many children join our family. Gabriel and Baby Cude will always be our babies.
I am content with our little tree. A few cheap glass ornaments and some beads and garland adorn it. I am on a quest for an Archangel Gabriel Christmas tree topper -- A little hard to find since Gabriel announced Mary's special pregnancy to her but did not announce the birth of Christ. When I look at our little tree, I see our story unfolding. We are less than two years in, but I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
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