Ten Days that Changed the World - Seven Years of Sisterhood

This year to celebrate Gabriel's 10 days of life, I wanted to celebrate some of the wonderful women I have met on this journey since Gabriel was diagnosed with anencephaly 7 years ago. June 10, 2018 - Gabriel's Birthday!  It is only fitting that this day I honor my due date buddy Jenny Lees, whose son Palmer was born 10 days before Gabriel on June 1, 2011.  Palmer's heart valves were donate, saving the life of another child.  In Palmer's honor I will be donating blood the following Monday, June 11, 2018.  I invite you to join me in donating.  Local friends, I also invite you to celebrate Mass with me at Christ the King, at 9:30 AM.  Although I was too late to have him included in rememberances, my family and I will certainly be celebrating Mass for Gabriel.

June 11, 2018 - Gabriel's One Day.  This day I want to honor a group of young women who were in their teens/early 20s when their babies were diagnosed with anencephaly.  I still think of them as babies, though they are strong, young, amazing women and mothers:  Lacy Sanchez, Holley Billet, Keely Riffe and Katie Green. In honor of Kolton, KayLynn, Noella, and Lhiam, I will be donating some items to Dress for Success, an organization that assists low-income women in wardrobe needs to help them improve their job opportunities.  I invite you to do something similar for your local Dress for Success, women's shelter, or crisis pregnancy center.  I was motivated to choose these ladies on this day because my "baby" sister, now 20 years old, will be visiting Vanguard University, where she will begin classes in the fall, on this day.  How I look up to the inspirational young women in my life.

*We also have cupcakes every year on this day, to celebrate Gabriel "turning 1."  We never got to have a first birthday with him - One day will have to last us a lifetime.  I invite you to enjoy a cupcake too.

June 12, 2018 - I love baseball.  I have for years, and it's that thing that I thought I would share with my son someday.  This year, at 62 games into the season, my favorite team has performed spectacularly.  Mitch Haniger, who last year had the best rookie season in Mariners history, went on a home run streak early in the season.  In May, James Paxton threw a no-hitter.  In June, the Mariners are leading the AL West, and are third in the American League overall.  Despite their success, I haven't seen a game all season.  Early on I verbalized to many that I didn't have a lot of hope for the season, and as they started looking better and better I was afraid if I tuned in to watch them, my early skepticism would jinx this winning team.  But even while I said, "This isn't the year," somewhere in my heart I always believe this will be the year.  Eliana. The Lord hears our prayers.  Even when they are just a whisper of the heart.  This day will be day 2 of a critical series for the Mariners against the Angels.  So on this day I honor Melanie Larsen Sinouthasy and her daughter Eliana.  The Lord heard Melanie's prayers and let her family keep Eliana through Christmas.  The Lord heard my prayers and sent my Eden Eliana.  Say your prayers, cross your fingers, and hope with me for a Mariners win, or anything else that seems hopeless.  Feel free to send my your intentions publicly or privately, and I will keep you and your hopes in my prayers.

June 13, 2018 - School is out for summer but when you're a lawyer or a doctor, school never really ends, and all you ever do is "practice."  Though not teachers by trade, three special women that I have met through the anencephaly community, Missy Hilzdenger, Lucy George, and Bethany Conkel, have used their experiences to teach and educate others including the medical community about anencephaly, carrying twins to term when one is anencephalic, and neonatal donation.  People seem to be afraid to ask questions about anencephaly or our babies - What was the pregnancy like, did the baby move in utero, did the baby breath, urinate, eat, make noise?  Don't be afraid - We love to talk about our children.  I invite you to celebrate this day and Gracie, Christopher and Amalya by learning about anencephaly or by reading the story of one of the children on the anencphaly.info website.  I'd love for you to share what you learn with me!

June 14, 2018 - Something I distinctly remember about this particular day in Gabriel's life is that we really thought we were going to lose him.  He seemed to be struggling, and we were thankful for the four days we had with him.  The knowledge that your child could pass at any minute is stressful, but reminds you how delicate life is, and that it's not in our hands.  For nearly 4 years, Sonia and Rony Morales lived with this knowledge as they loved and cared for their daughter Angela, who passed away in December.  They have inspired me with their dedication to God's Will.  Trusting God is what we are called to do, yet trusting what we cannot see is so hard to do.  God is all around us, loving us and guiding us.  George Strait sings "I know He's here but I don't look near as often as I should.  His fingerprints are everywhere.  I just look down and stop and stare, open my eyes and then I swear I saw God today." On this day, look for God's fingerprints around you.

June 15, 2018 - I've scheduled myself to do something very challenging this day: For the first time in my life, I will fire a gun.  I've enrolled in a ladies' handgun course and will spend 4 hours learning about and testing 12 different handguns.  This is HUGE for me - Because when I see a gun, hear a gun, think of a gun, I think of the gun lying next to Sean when I found his lifeless body after he had killed himself.  I think of the many desperate and hopeless times in my life, the times I've thought very seriously about ending it all and even now, the times that I know I won't end it all but also know that depression is something I will battle my whole life - A life that I still expect to be long and full.  This day I will honor Keri Harris Kitchen and her daughter Carys Rainn, a twin with anencephaly. Keri is a LMFT who has faced her own struggles even while helping others through theirs.  She's written and published a book, a huge milestone for her, which is why, in addition to her work in mental health, I have chosen to dedicate this day to Keri and Carys.  On this day, try to jump your own hurdle.

June 16, 2018 - The threads of our lives weave together in ways we didn't anticipate.  20 years ago when I was in high school with Melissa Pankey, whose name I knew only through mutual friends, I had no idea that I would become friends with Melissa Wiggins, my former classmate now married, when her daughter Imogen was diagnosed with anencephaly.  I have wanted to plant violets to honor Imogen Violet Wiggins for some time - And Bakersfield in June is no time and place for such an endeavor.  But this year I think I'm going to take a chance.

June 17, 2018 - Father's Day. On this day I will take a step back from honoring the very special mothers that I've met through my journey, and honor some very special fathers.  I will honor God our Father, and "I will praise the One who's chosen me to carry you," and the trust He had in me in selecting me to be Gabriel's mother.  I will celebrate my own dad, who loved my little boy SO MUCH and was prepared to retire to care for him, if the need arose.  And I will celebrate my husband, who took a chance on a single mother to a deceased child, who loved my broken heart, and who has given me two beautiful rainbows.

June 18, 2018 - This year marks the 18th birthday for Anouk and Makenna - The daughters of two very special women who have had tremendous impact on the anencephaly community.  For 18 years they have been aware of, and as a result, raising awareness for anencephaly.  Monkia Jaquier founded the anencephaly.info site, which is one of the top links one is provided when they do a search for anencphaly on Google.  Because of her work, families facing this diagnosis have information to provide hope, rather than fear, when their worlds are shattered by this devastating news.  Amy Hale has founded Makenna's Memorials, through which she creates memorial pictures to honor anencephalic babies.  To celebrate 18 years following the short but meaningful lives of Anouk and Makenna, and their amazing mothers who have done so much to change our world, I invite you to find a way to change the world today.  We are small in the grand scheme of things, but the little things we do can be huge to someone else.

June 19, 2018 - Day 10 was reserved, but I wanted to celebrate a special mother of 10, Tabitha Say, whose daughter Elizabeth was born in May 2011, the year Gabriel was born.  Elizabeth was Tabitha's 6th child and first girl.  I admire Tabitha, who has a life I have dreamed of but don't think I could handle. She is a stay at home mother to 9 living children, and manages to treat them all as the unique human beings that they are.  She is witty and intelligent and hard working, an incredible wife and mother.  The work of stay at home mom's is immeasurable - It doesn't contribute to our GDP and doesn't get the credit it deserves, though I believe our culture has come a long way in its appreciation for the value of stay at home mothers and fathers.  Our culture certainly doesn't appreciate large families as we should.  On this day, think of a large family you know and consider the struggle and sacrificeof such a family in these times, and consider helping them in some way.

June 20, 2018 - After 10 days, God called my sweet boy home and shortly after that, he sent a special woman and her very special little boy into my life.  Kelly Alvstad's baby boy Andrew has become Gabriel's brother from another mother.  Born at 3:20 compared to Gabriel's 3:19, on January 10, 2012 compared to Gabriel's June 10, 2011, Andrew also lived 10 days, passing on January 20, 2012.  Through Kelly, I held my son again, and through Kelly, I let my son go again.  Every year we celebrate together and every year we grieve together.  I will release balloons again this year for Gabriel, as I do every year, and just as we have done for 7 years now, I know that somewhere in Montana, Kelly will share my joy and my pain.  As always, I invite you all to join me in releasing a balloon or lantern to celebrate with me the day Gabriel was called to sainthood.