A Month of Thanks

Recently I was informed that November is National Blogposting Month -- Everything has a month now, after all. National Blogposting Month is a challenge to bloggers to post an entry every day in the month of November. While this challenge excites the writer and competitor in me, I've decided not to engage in the challenge. This blog is the only one I keep, except for notes posted on Facebook and blogs posted on MySpace, and the purpose of this blog is specific: To tell about my journey in carrying my anencephalic son, caring for him during his ten days on earth, and learning to cope with life since his passing. Gabriel's Message isn't the right forum for carrying out the blogging challenge.

After I was alerted to National Blogposting Month, I also noted that there is a month-long challenge happening on Facebook right now. The challenge is for members to post something every day that they are grateful for, at least up until Thanksgiving (so it appears).

The "Thankful Challenge" was more appealing to me. In keeping Gabriel's Message I find comfort and release, but I sometimes become so focused on what I don't have -- my children, here on earth with me -- that I forget to show gratitude for the many, many things I do have. First and foremost among my blessings are my two children, though they dwell in Heaven rather than with me. But my blessings do not end there. While I question often why God has dished me SO much in my 30 years, I also look around at least as often and realize that I truly love my life. I am fortunate to have not only a roof over my head, but to be able to live in a nice home. My husband drives me up the wall, regularly, but I recall the loneliness of my not-so-distant single days and know that I would rather learn to live in a marriage than return to a life without Ben.

Yes, I am blessed. My recent bout of depression has blurred my vision some and I find myself feeling sorry more than I should, but I am not blind to the fact that I have been given much in this life -- and of those given much, much is expected. There can't be ups without some downs. So I dedicate this month to celebrating the ups, the multitude of blessings in my life.